


Pain

by Bushwah



Category: The Silmarillion and other histories of Middle-Earth - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Gallows Humor, Gen, Gross
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-04
Updated: 2016-10-04
Packaged: 2018-08-19 12:35:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 233
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8208238
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bushwah/pseuds/Bushwah
Summary: Orcish humor, and the consequences thereof.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [simaetha](https://archiveofourown.org/users/simaetha/gifts).



“So you would not give up the Three even under pain of death?”

Celebrimbor glared back at his tormentor from under a veritable mountain of chains, dimly aware of a crowd of Orcs waiting behind. “Never!”

Sauron grinned. “Perhaps you’ll change your mind under pain of... pain!”

At one edge of the crowd, an Orc-woman whispered to the Orc next to her, “Upper management really knows how to put on a show, don’t they?”

He picked his dripping nose and chewed up the booger economically with a few grinds of his well-sharpened teeth. “Oh, I don’t know, I’m not sure I’m really following it actually. Can you give me a recap of what’s happened so far?”

A third Orc gave them a quelling look. “Ssh. We’re just getting to the good part.”

Celebrimbor was cautiously relieved when Sauron turned away from him to face the Orcish crowd. He was less relieved when the Maia pointed to one of them. It caught fire and burned with unnatural speed. Seconds later, all that remained was a pile of smoking slime and a hole in the ranks where the other Orcs had retreated from the blaze.

The first Orc who had spoken glanced at the corpse only briefly before turning back to the main event with a beatific smile on her hideous face. This time her whisper was even softer. “Now that’s what I’m talking about.”


End file.
